Your Parent Is in the Hospital and You Can't Get Into Anything

Start with the bills that are due

When a parent lands in the hospital, it's tempting to try to get into everything at once. Start smaller. What actually needs attention in the next two weeks? Usually it's a short list: rent or mortgage, utilities, a credit card payment, medications, and someone to check the mail.

Many of these can be handled without your parent's passwords. Paper bills arrive in the mailbox. Utility companies and landlords will often agree to a short delay when you explain the situation. If your parent can talk, even briefly, ask them which payments are on autopay and which ones they pay by hand.

Use the authority you have, and know what it covers

A durable financial power of attorney lets the person named, called the agent, handle money matters for your parent. If one exists, find it and bring a copy to the bank. Many banks will review it and may ask the agent to fill out their own forms first. A medical power of attorney or health care proxy is a separate document, and so is a HIPAA authorization, which lets doctors share information with you.

Even with a power of attorney, don't sign in to your parent's online banking with their password. Banks treat that as your parent signing in, not you, and it can break the account's terms. Ask the bank how an agent can view and manage the account properly. If there's no power of attorney and your parent can't sign one, an elder law attorney can explain the options in your state.

Handle the phone with care

Your parent's phone may be ringing with calls from doctors, friends and pharmacies, and it's also where their verification codes arrive. If your parent can unlock it, ask them to, and help them reply to the people who need an answer. Keep the phone charged and with your parent if they're able to use it.

If your parent can't unlock it, don't try to guess the passcode. Too many tries can lock it for longer or erase it, depending on the settings. Let close friends and family know how to reach you instead, and ask the pharmacy and doctors' offices to add you as a contact if your parent agrees.

Set it up before the next emergency

When your parent is home and feeling better, use what you learned. Most families find that a few documents and a short list would have made the hospital weeks much easier. Talk to your parent about a durable power of attorney and a health care proxy if they don't have them. Then write down which bills are on autopay, where the phone passcode is kept, and who should be called first.